Pimp Master C!, Sugar Sexy Dias and Naughty Mew
by mistress-reebi
Summary: Cliff and Dias are exotic dancers for a ladies night Club. Another night club in Central City causes rivalry between the two. All characters have been introduced, randomly. SO2&SO3 Last Chapters revamped
1. Welcome to the House of Hottness

The music blared as if a bomb had gone off as sounds of synthesized instruments seeped out of the speakers filling the room with eurotrance music. Lights flashed illuminating the room with the many colours of the rainbow. Screams of joy were heard competing with sounds of the music as many fangirls waved green pieces of paper in their hands, throwing them unto the stage. Girls were packed tighter than sardines crammed into a can as some couldn't move.

Cliff, also known as Pimp Master C, hugged the pole that was in the centre of the stage and started swinging around like a marry-go –round. He wore only a leather thong that was hot pink as if Barbie designed his costume, which barely covered him.

"WE LOVE YOU PIMP MASTER C!" Celine screamed at the top of her lungs, waving her hands in the air.

Cliff turned his back towards his cheerful audience as he bent over, sticking his sexy booty out and shook it in front of his fans. The girls went nuts as many of them keeled over unto the floor, passing out. After minuets of booty shaking he turned around and gave bow as he strutted off the stage like a super model.

"AND NOW LADIES, THE TIME HAS COME FOR… SUGAR SEXY DIAS!" the speakers announced as the girls hollered at the top of their lungs, some having raspy voices.

Winds whooshed on stage causing Dias' sapphire hair to blow as his fans threw Fol bills, which danced in the winds, spirally around him. His attire, much like Cliff's, was a plumb coloured velvet speedo which clung to his skin showing off his sexy package.

This was the norm at The House of Hottness on a Friday night. Many fangirls from around the universe would come to this strip bar, admiring the beauty of Pimp Master C! and Sugar Sexy Dias. Even innocent Rena, a regular, would use a fake ID and spend her allowance on lap dances at The House of Hottness. She told her parents she was studying at a friend's house, an excuse most young women used; the streets were vacant on Friday night's, as if the whole universe were a giant ghost town. Queen's Street, which The House of Hottness was located, was the only place where humans existed on that night.

00000000

Another Friday Night, another wild evening. Cliff sat on the stool his dressing room pampering himself before his act. He looked at his reflection in the 18th Century Baroque mirror and smiled. His new job was making him loaded! The other day he bought himself some bling-bling valued over 100 000 FOL, a staple for his new lifestyle. He had dreams of starting a family after defeating Luther but Cliff wasn't the type to stay with one woman, he wanted them all! He quickly lathered the oil from his stand all over his muscular body as a knock was heard banging on his door.

"Come in!" Cliff answered finishing lathering his arms, then pouring more oil unto his hands.

A young woman, a few years younger than Mirage, stood in the doorway with her hands on her narrow hips. Her hair was obviously dyed a blood red and her unique outfit looked like she was from a different planet.

"Yo, I'm the new stripper!" the mysterious woman greeted in a gansta accent, hostilely.

Cliff burst out in laughter, as he rolled on floor, laughing like a hyena. His stomach split open in pain, like someone threw an anvil at him as he giggled like a schoolgirl seeing Pimp Master C! for the first time.

"This is a woman's strip club for heterosexuals!" He chuckled, still on the floor, laughing like a mad man, rolling around the room.

"It's going to be a men's strip club on Monday-Thursday nights." The woman hissed, offended by the laughter.

"WHAT!" Cliff said in shock, which muted his laughter and stopped him from continuing to roll around on the floor.

"Ya, yer jobless on those days." She scolded as she barged into the room, stepping over him as she passed his body lying on the floor like a dead man. "So we are going to share this room."

Chisato entered the doorway, holding a clipboard in her right hand and motioned with her hands for Cliff to enter the stage. Cliff's eyes were narrow as his face was the colour of the new stripper's hair. He stood up, cracking his knuckles and glared at Chisato with the fires of hell in his eyes.

"What is wrong Cliff?" Chiasto asked as she looked at her watch. "We don't have time for this you have to be on stage!"

Cliff was silent as he marched out of his room, nudging Chisato with his broad shoulders as he passed her.

"Look, I'll tell you what happened later but you need to go on stage!" Chisato sympathized as she moved the curtain to the stage but Cliff pushed her hand away and opened it himself.

00000000

"WHAT!" Cliff screamed as he slammed his hands unto Chisato's desk in rage. "How can you make this a men's club on Monday-Thursday night?"

"I decided that we might make more money if this club were for men on the less busy nights." Chisato explained. "When we have the money we will build another night club but for now you will only work Friday and Saturday nights!"

Cliff crossed his arms and starred deep into Chisato's eyes as Dias' eyes twitched, in anger, as if he had been electrocuted.

"I don't think this new girl will be as popular as I, Sugar Sexy Dias!" Dias answered as he left the room with his nose to the air.

"If my calculations are correct in a month we can start building the other club." Chiasto said, in a calm tone glancing at her bank sheets, making notes along the way. "If you want to work full time you can sweep floors on Monday-Thursday nights but for now you have to work part-time!"

"Pimp Master C! sweeping floors!" Cliff complained like a spoiled child not getting what they want on Christmas day, slamming his hands again on the desk. "I don't think so! I'm just going to have to work somewhere else. Dias and I will start our own club!"

"Fine, do whatever." Chisato gave up spinning her chair around with her back facing Cliff. "Make this new girl welcome, show her the ropes."

"You mean she can be my apprentice?" Cliff's voice changed tones, as he let out a faint smile.

"Sure, she doesn't have a stripper name yet so you can help her with that." Chisato replied as she stood up to face him. "Her name is Nel, can you think of a name for her?"

"Nel?" Cliff pondered as he scratched his head. "Hott Nel? No that won't work. Hmm… How about Sugar Sexy Nel, no Dias already has that name. I dunno."

"Why don't you ask her some questions, I kinda want to have lunch right now so get out of my office!" Chiasto hissed as she got the boom beside her desk and shooed Cliff out of her office, as if he were a hideous spider.

"I guess that would work! I'll have a name when you get back!" Cliff smiled, cheerfully as he scooted out of Chiasto's office, making his way over towards his dressing room.

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AN: I do not know anything, so don't sue me. Thanks to Brenty for the name: Pimp Master C!. he thought of it and I didn't but the rest I made up, except for the star ocean stuff.


	2. Transgender Nel

Cliff stumbled into his dressing room, almost prying the door off as he barged in. Nel was sitting on the carpeted floor that looked like Fabio was the interior designer holding her dragger, cutting open a large series of boxes. Dias passed by, glaring at the new stripper as he stood in the doorway beside Cliff. Nel lifted the cardboard flaps of the boxes open as she pulled out some revealing costumes found only at a Hallowe'en party for hookers.

"Nice costumes." Dias remarked, sarcastically as he caught a glimpse of the gothic kitty ears Nel was holding in her hands.

"Thanks!" Nel answered as she arranged the revealing outfits in Cliff's closet.

"Why not crash Dias' closet, this is _my _room after all!" Cliff hissed as he helped himself to a seat on the padded stood beside the doorway, taking a good look at Nel in a perplexful manner. "You seem like a feminist Nel, so why all of a sudden you decided to become a stripper?"

"So you do remember me." Nel replied in a viciously disgusted by his stupidity as she kneeled on the floor, cutting the tape off of another box. "I asked Dias and he said he didn't want to share. As for your last question, men are pigs! I'm using them for their money because they only think of one thing. They are jerks!"

"Well, I'm thinking of a name for you and not sex; does that make me a pig?" Cliff tried to defend himself. "Besides you didn't ask me!"

"I know a perfect name for her!" Dias smiled, suspiciously as he entered the disorganized room, taking a few steps closer to Nel, slowly. "Transgender Nel."

Nel scowled at Dias holding her dagger defensively as she stood up, still starring at his face with a smirk muddlering, "It's a shame I'm a woman, now is it. I guess you will have to think of a better name."

"No, he didn't mean it as an insult!" Cliff lied, defending Dias, as he got off his seat, stepping closer to them, making calm of the situation. "Transsexuals get really big tips and he is trying to help!"

"Ha!" Nel laughed as she crossed her arms. "Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"No Seriously!" Dias added as he gave a wink to Cliff. "Cliff started out saying he was both genders and he got a tip of 10 000FOL! Didn't you Cliff"

"Oh…uh… Ya…" Cliff replied, carrying out this charade. "But when they found out I liked the ladies and I was a man I still got lots of attention from the girls. If you think we are lying, which we totally aren't, right Dias"

"We totally aren't"

"Then…uh.. you can ask Chisato!"

"Yes ask her yourself."

A pause of silence erupted as Nel's gleam remained. She knew Cliff had lied to her before about being an engineer and this new man, Dias, she had not met hasn't built up a trust with her yet. These men were strippers, manipulating women for money and possible sex, and their manager gave their shifts to her; she knew she couldn't trust a word they were saying.

"Fine!" Nel bargained. It was obvious to her that they were lying and Nel certainly wasn't gullible, so she decided to humour them since she did steal their job. "My stripper name will be Transgender Nel."

000000000

The crowd roared in excitement as men and women from all over came to the House of Hottness. The crowd was think: people spilled over unto the alleyways as many confused it for the line up for Tim Horton's, which was located at the other end of town. Ernest, the bouncer had his hands full trying to prevent screaming fans from entering the bar illegally. One guy tried to enter the club by attempting to sneak into the window beside the main entrance. As soon as Ernest dealt with him a mob of screaming fans flooded themselves into the club, racing inside trying to get a good seat, as if Tria had come for a visit. Chisato sent Cliff out in help Ernest with the rabid fans, which helped ease the situation, but Transgender Nel's debut was the biggest thing that had happened since Pimp Master C! announced he was single.

Nel dressed up for her debut wearing a scandalous bikini that was revealing. There wasn't a point in her wearing something because her clothes would be taken off eventually, was the theme she was going for this evening. Her legs were covered in ripped fishnets and her heals were higher than the CN Tower. She had random chains covering her semi-naked body and wore kitty ears to go with her gothic ensemble. As she stood in the back, waiting to go out Dias stood beside her, glaring.

"Looks like Transgenders do get large tips!" Nel remarked, sarcastically as Dias looked the other way, crossing his arms.

"I guess the crowd will have their hopes up for nothing, now that you are a woman." Dias smirked as he marched towards the back door. "I guess you will have to use a sock for your panties!"

Nel giggled as she saw the look of envy in his eyes as she thought to herself, "Serves them right for lying to my face."

Chisato dashed out of her office with a large smile on her face screaming, "We never had a turn out like this! Not only will the bar be a success, but also I won't have to lie about the article I'm writing on your debut. Who knew that Transgenders made a lot of money."

Dias stopped himself from opening the door. He couldn't help but to think of what Chisato said, "We never had a turnout like this!" rang through his mind repetitively.

"I know of a perfect plan to get rid of her." Dias thought to himself, exiting the building into the crowded alleyway.


	3. Sucess

The town of Fun City was silent as people rested in their beds after a long night at the House of Hottness. The moon glowed, the stars twinkled in sequence as the streets were so vacant someone could sleep on the road without someone running them over; opposite to thirty minutes ago when the House of Hottness closed down for the night. Dias exited the building carrying large posters in his hands, scanning the bare streets as he dashed to the nearest traffic light pole. He pulled out a poster, bending in around the pole, covering the missing cute, puppy dog signs and taped the poster using the duct tape from his pocket, letting out a smirk.

The city awoke at sunrise. Yawning as they opened the front door of their homes, gathering the mourning paper their eyes widened in shock: the town had been literally painted in posters. All over the pavement, the homes, the buildings even on the food to the cooking contest; covered with posters promoting Transgender Nel at the House of Hottness. Mothers threw their hands over their young ones eyes entering the city telling their children that what they saw was the crazy cat lady from TV, and a transgender is one of the wisemen's wife and if you stare at her she will throw her cat at you and turn you into stone.

"Hey Cliff!" Nel smiled as she entered the dressing room carrying a cardboard box. "Get off of the chesterfield and get back to work!"

"You jerk!" Cliff hissed, turning around to face her as he sprawled himself on the loveseat. "You had to keep me up all night trying to make sure screaming fans didn't enter the bar without paying or when it was crowded, which was all night! Now with the city covered in posters more people will come tonight and will be a lot more work for me!"

"Well, you should have picked a better name." Nel giggled, opening the cardboard box, revealing more kitty ears. "Did you put those posters all over town?"

"No, I was tired after work and I went to sleep on this couch!" Cliff grumbled, burying his head into the throw pillow. "I appreciate it if you are quiet because I'm still sleepy!"

"Don't be such a baby." Nel teased, throwing the cardboard box unto the floor as she gathered her ears and placed the in the closet. "It's almost supper time, you should be up by now, sleepy head. If you think of another name I'll leave you be."

"Fine!" Cliff mumbled, rolling over to his side with his back facing Nel. "You like wearing kitty ears so how about Naughty Mew."

"Naughty Mew?" Nel repeated, as she crossed her arms and put her finger to her chin. "I like that! That will be my new name."

Nel threw the rest of her furry kitty ears in a bucket on the shelf of her shared closet and headed out the room, turning the light off as she closed the door. Dias waddled down the hall with his eyes sagging lower than any old lady's boobs, yawning as he stumbled down the hall.

"Someone had a little too much to drink last night." Nel commented on Dias' behaviour, staring deeper in his eyes. "No, someone was up late last night. Perhaps throwing posters all over the city?"

"Look, you stole our job." Dias added, crossing his eyebrows as he walked past Nel, glaring at her. "It is hard to admit that someone is more beautiful than I am, but the only way to get rid of you is to make you a success."

"A success indeed!" Chisato butted in, with her handy dandy notebook and handy dandy pen in her hands. "Not only did I write a review on her debut, I'm writing an article on the mysterious man who covered the town in posters, and thanks to Dias I know everything. You guys keep giving me stories to write. As for the profits, we made over a million Fol last night, which we have never done! Production will start tomorrow on the new building, on the other end of town to avoid clutter, for the nightclub for men!"

"That's awesome!" Nel said, cheerfully as she let out a huge smile. "I wonder how many people are going to come tonight."

"I'm not sure." Chisato shrugged. "I'm going to Central City in five minutes to give my articles to my editor, while recruiting more bouncers for tonight. Do you want to come?"

"Will we have time?" Nel asked, staring at her watch. "It's almost five and the bar opens at nine. We also have people lining up already."

"We'll get Cliff to handle it." Chisato explained as she moitioned Nel to follow her, walking towards her office. "Flying over there will only take less than an hour, you can get ready on the way back. I'm finishing my article about the posters on the way there."

"I wanna come, too!" Cliff announced, running towards the two. "Now that she's a celebrity she needs a bodyguard."

"I can take care of myself." Nel hissed, glaring at Cliff. "You need to take care of the crazy fan boys. They aren't nearly as insane as fan girls, so you can handle them by yourself."

"If he isn't coming then I'm going!" Dias interrupted, pushing Cliff out of the way. "I must approve of these bouncers by testing their strength."

"Both of you can come!" Chisato bargained as she entered her office, reaching for the phone, shooing everyone out of her office. "I'll get Ernest to handle everything."

Nel, Cliff and Dias strolled towards Nel's dressing room as Dias started to whisper into Cliff's ear. Nel gazed at them, eyeing at them suspiciously, huddling closer to them. When he stopped whispering the men let out a laugh, giggling like schoolgirls.

"What is it?" Nel growled, staring into their cheerful eyes.

"Nothing." Cliff lied, holding back his laugher. "Dias told me you snore!"

"I do not!" Nel hissed. "Even if I did, why is that so funny? And how would Dias know? I guess he admitted to being a stalker."

"I'm not a stalker." Dias defended, glaring at Nel. "You feel asleep in your dressing room last night."

"That was Cliff." Nel explained, acting as if he were born yesterday. "Are you calling me manly?"

"No, it was dark and I presumed it was you last night since you were the one changing." Dias argued, crossing his arms, sticking his nose into the air.

"Well, next time you make a joke about someone make sure it's about the right person." Nel suggested, walking into her dressing room.

"Cliff stayed the night in Nel's dressing room, and he snores!" Chisato butted in, again, writing all of the information down. "Thanks for the story!"

"What!" Nel and Cliff said in shock as their eyes widened and their jaws dropped.

"Now everyone is going to think we are a couple, when we aren't!" Nel growled, slamming the door to her room. "It's his dressing room too!"

"Now my fans won't love me as much." Cliff added. "Oh well, at least I'm in the news for something. Make sure you add that she chose to share a room together."

"You jerk!" Nell roared, fiercely opening the door, almost ripping it off. "You aren't to be in this room again!"

"It's my room too you know!" Cliff hollered. "You just said it five seconds ago!"

"A lovers quarrel, this article is sure to win an award!" Chisato reported, writing more information down.

"We aren't lovers!" Nel screamed, holding a suitcase in one hand, slamming the door with the other as her face went as red as her hair. "Now let's go, we are wasting time!"

"Let me take your bag, sweetie." Cliff teased.

Nel felt the anger at the pit of her stomach as she whacked her suitcase across Cliffs beautiful face, releasing all over her strength. Cliff fell towards the ground, letting out a smirk as Chisato wrote everything down, exaggerating the information. Nel stomped in front, marching towards the back door, leaving the building first.


	4. Two Blondes

"Who are these guys?" Cliff asked, pointing to a poster on a nearby wall inside a store. Two men dressed in different scandalous outfits posed flirtatiously; one wearing bear ears, a faux fur Speedo and a tail coming out of his underwear, readying to pounce on someone; the other a white Speedo with a red cross at the front and a stethoscope around his neck. "Wild Exotic Beast and Doctor Physical? Looks like we have some competition Dias."

Dias examined the poster, glaring at the characters, smirking, "I'm way sexier than those two put together. It opens tonight, maybe we should check out the competition. I highly doubt they will be as successful as I am."

"They look familiar." Cliff added, staring closely at the picture. "We have to work tonight. Tomorrow's our day off, so then we can check it out."

"Shouldn't you be working?" Nel hissed, pulling the guys out of the store by the ears, almost tearing them apart.

"Kinky are we." Cliff commented with a seductive look on his face.

They left the store, assembling into the main street, rubbing their ears, and feeling the throb slowly go away. Nel raised her hand to slap Cliff for being rude but placed it around her chest, crossing her arms, knowing that slapping him will encourage him to tease even more.

"You better be sorry!" A female voice shouted from the distance.

Baffled by the remark, they ran towards the noise; people from all over the city gathered around in a circle. Pushing their way through they found a woman, with golden hair that reached her waist, standing a few metres empty between a large, muscular man.

"You show that pervert who's boss!" A lady from the crowd hollered, inciting the fight.

The man ran towards the woman, who stood before him, grunting as he threw a punch. The young lady stood there with her eyes closed, waiting for him to hit her. Within millimetres from her face, she grabbed his punch; acting as if it were nothing, swung her body around and kicked him in the stomach. Pain filled his body, gnawing at his insides, as he leaned over, practically vomiting. She left the scene; the crowd parted for her, shifting away in both awe and fear, giving her a path.

"That was awesome Mirage!" Cliff beckoned, racing towards her. "You showed him!"

"Thanks." Mirage answered, pausing as Cliff, Dias and Nel ran towards her.

"How long are you staying here?" Nel asked, approaching Mirage.

"About a week." Mirage answered.

"You feel like being a bouncer?" Dias questioned, taking a step back, trying not to offend her.

"I heard about you guys being strippers. I knew Cliff couldn't stop being a ladies man, even at his age." She giggled, with a smile. "Sure I'll be happy to be a bouncer for your club."

"I just can't say no to the ladies." Cliff admitted. "Awesome! Let's celebrate our new bouncer by going to the tavern!"

"We only have half an hour before we have to meet up with Chisato at City Hall." Nel added, glaring at Cliff's comment. "If you are late we are leaving without you."

"Fine, then we'll just get a drink."

The four entered the musty smelling tavern clashing with the smoke seeping out of a cigarette. Few people sat around a circular table made out of wood, while a woman sat at the bar, across from a man, having a round of shots. The woman looked out of place, wearing a ballroom gown and having three golden eyes, but the man she was having shots with collapsed on the floor, and took a deep breath, admitting his defeat.

"I toll you, if I win, witch I did, you tell me where my hubby is!" The woman hissed, swaying around, holding up two fingers. "He has three eyes, wait I don't have three fingers, ha! He has three eyes like me! Wow, I have three eyes!"

"Um… Opera." Dias whispered, placing his hands around her shoulder, steadying her. "I think you had enough. Ernest is in Fun city working as a bouncer at a club."

"I'll tell you when I had 'nuff!" Opera shouted, pushing Dias aside. She placed her high heels on the floor and lifted herself up, only to fall on the floor with her face hitting the ground. Climbing her way up, using the bar stood she leaned on the bar, raising another glass to her lips. The liquid flooded down, spilling all over her face. She placed the cup down and said, "I NOT dunk! Bring Ernest her!"

"How about you see Ernest?" Mirage suggested, wiping Opera's face with her handkerchief, having Opera wrap her arms around her, squeezing her with a bear hug.

"Okay, Let's go! Hugz fer everone! I luv you Mirror, you too Danny, Clifford the red dawg, Melery!" Opera mumbled, taking a few steps towards the bathroom, the opposite way, her body shifting to sides with every step she took. Eventually, she fell over, passing out on the cool tiles. Cliff reached over and threw her over his shoulders with her butt sticking out of one side, arms dangling on the other, like a barbarian, as they walked out of the tavern and headed for City Hall.

A crowd of screaming girls crammed the streets, lining up in front of a building. Cliff growled as he saw the same poster blown up on the walls of the structure. His regulars abandoning him for younger men made the pit of his stomach full of envy. One girl turned around as her eyes widened, letting out a scream, "It's Pimp Master C!" Cliff uncrossed his eyebrows, which made him let out a smile, and waved to his fan.

"Hi ladies!" He answered, waving to the girls lining up, as they fainted.

"I guess we are more popular than those jerks!" Dias smirked, waving to his the girls with Cliff.

The came across a red haired Nedian, scribbling something down on her notepad, and examined the line-up at the mysterious nightclub.

"Chisato!" Nel called out, as they walked towards her. "I guess you heard about the competition."

"Yes, but the line-up isn't nearly as long as the line-up at six in the morning before Cliff's debut." Chiasto commented as she placed her paper in her pocket. "We shouldn't worry about them. I see you have a new bouncer and someone you kidnapped."

"Opera's just passed out from too much booze." Dias answered. "This is Mirage, Cliff's friend. Who are those guys, I've seen them before?"

"Noel and Bowman." Chisato replied. "I saw her beating the crap out of a guy not too long ago. I have the story almost all written down."

"Noel a stripper?" Dias laughed, rolling on the ground. "Did Cliff marry or something?"

"Hey, I can get married!" Cliff defended. "I can't say no to millions of ladies. It's not fair for them if I marry one."

"Stop arguing!" Nel eased the situation. "We have to get back, it's almost eight!"

"Fine!"

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Thanks to Aki Kitsune for editing the beginning!


	5. the Scary Owner: Traumatised men

Cliff vacuumed his carpet as Nel laid on the loveseat, eating the bag of chips from her stomach, like a couch potatoe, screaming, "This room has to be spotless!"

"Why don't you clean up?" Cliff suggested, vacuuming the area by the closet. "I owner will be here any minute, hide me."

"I thought Chisato owned this place." Nel said, shoving the chips in her mouth.

"No, she just manages it." Cliff answered, turning off the vacuum, unplugging it, as he quickly leaped into the closet. "Beware of the owner! She is really scary"

"HI GUYS! LIKE- I-ATE-A-BOWL-OF-SUGAR-AND-KILOGRAM-OF-CHOCOLATE-AND-I'M-SO-HAPPY!" A really high pitch voice was heard, slurring the words together, swiftly. The hyper teenager stormed into the room, holding unto a leash in her hand, as she started to pace around, not staying still for a second, shouting, "I'M-THE-OWNER! MY-NAME-IS-PRECIS-AND-I-TOTALLY-LOVE-YOUR-KITTY-EARS. YOU-WANNA-SEE-MY-NEW-PET? BOBOT-WAS-LIKE, 'SEE YA, PRECIS,' SO-I-WAS-LIKE-WHATEVER. THEN-I-KIPNAPPED-SOMEONE-AND-HE-IS-MY-NEW-PET! HE-IS-SO-HOTT!" A young man, years older than she, was dragged in with duct tape over his mouth with his hands in handcuffs, tied to his back, and his legs tied together in chains. His face showed fear, as he wiggled his way around, with his blue eyes about to cry, trying to call for help.

"Isn't that Claude?" Nel asked, pointing to the poor soul beside Precis.

"YES!" Precis said, extremely cheerfully, and high pitched, almost as if she just smoked some crack. "HE-TRIES-TO-GET-AWAY-FROM-ME-SO-I-LIKE-USE-THESE-CHAINS-TO-HOLD-HIM-IN-PLACE-AND-I-CUDDLE-HIM-AND-I-KISS-HIM, HE-TRIES-TO-BACK-AWAY-WHEN-I-CUDDLE-BUT-I-LIKE-FORCE-HIM-BECAUSE-HE-IS-SO-HOTT-AND-I-LOVE-HIM-AND-I-WANNA-MARRY-HIM-AND-CLAUDE-IS-SO-COOL-AND-I-WAS-GOING-TO-MAKE-HIM-A-DANCER-HERE-BUT-HE-IS-MINE-AND-I-DON'T-WANT-SOME-CHICK-TO-STARE-AT-HIM-BECAUSE-HE-IS-MY-PET-AND-HE-IS-JUST-SO-HOTT-AND-DID-I-TELL-YOU-I-WAS-GOING-TO-MARRY-HIM?"

"Um, do you have ADHD?" Nel questioned, crinkling the bag, throwing it in the garbage can.

"YES!" She squealed, so high pitched Nel almost didn't hear it. "I-FORGOT-MY-RITALIN-SO-I'M-SUPER-HYPER-LIKE-I-FOUND-THIS-POSTER-FOR-ANOTHER-BAR-IN-CENTRAL-CITY-AND-THEY-ALSO-HAVA-MENS-NIGHT-FRIDAYS-AND-SATURDAYS-LIKE-IF-THEY-COPIED-US-WE-SHOULD-GIVE-THEM-BIRD-FLU-OR-SOMETHING." She pulled out a poster the size of a regular eight and a half by eleven piece of paper, running towards Nel, dragging Claude behind, showing her it.

Cliff sneezed, loudly, as Precis skipped towards the closet, opening the door. Cliff's eyes began to water as he tried to run away from her but was held back by Precis huggling around his calf, squeezing him, screaming, "CLIFFY! I-MISS-YOU!" Cliff tried to peel her off of his leg, but had no success.

"Help me!" He shouted, but Nel laid on the couch, laughing at his pain. Dias was nowhere to be seen today, and Chisato locked her office door, trapping herself away from the owner.

"I-WUV-YOU!" Precis shouted, so high pitched that only dogs could hear her.

Claude took advantage of the situation; he wiggled across the floor like a worm, trying to escape. Precis growled as she let go off Cliff, enabling him to run away as fast as he could, and screamed, "ROCKET-PUNCH," thumping Claude on the head, knocking him out. She yanked the leash and clutched unto it, wrapping it, forcing Claude to be right beside her.

"DON'T-LEAVE-ME-MY-LOVE!" She hollered, viciously, smacking the back of his head, and turned to face Nel, in an instant cheerful tone. "CLAUDE-AND-I-HAVE-A-DATE-SEE-YOU-NELLY!"

Nel, glared at Precis, almost about to explode as she muttered, "Don't call me Nelly," but Precis ignored her, jumping out of the room, like a child on acid, while Claude was hauled behind with X marks where his eyes were supposed to be.

0000000

Ashton waltzed down the streets of Central City, searching for barrels. He spotted one, and, of course, does what he always does when he sees a barrel: dashes towards it, giving it a massive hug, glued to it for hours, eventually kidnapping it, taking it home. He sprinted to it, but furiously at the abuse this barrel had suffered; someone put a poster on it, ruining the preciousness to it. Ashton glared at the paper, ripping it off as he started at it: a man with dragons all over him, with the title, "Dragon Tamer of Love" was seen. Ashton's eyes widened as he let out a smile, yelling, "Wow, another person who has been possessed with dragons!" Glancing again at the poster it read, "Friday and Saturday Nights, starting at nine thirty at night at the Men Factory, Central City." Ashton's smile grew larger, "It's almost ten now! I have to meet this girl! Finally, there is someone who shares my pain!"

He ran down the street, rushing towards the Men Factory. When he arrived, his eyes watered at the sight of the huge line up. These men didn't have dragons on their backs; they should let people who suffer go first! Gyoro and Ururun growled, trying to tell Ashton to leave, but Ashton marched up to the front of the line.

"Hi Ashton." Fayt greeted, standing against the lineup. "Um, I guess we'll let you in without waiting. I never knew you um… were…"

"Isn't it oblivious?" Ashton asked, as if Fayt was born yesterday. He marched into the club, fascinated at the blinking lights.

A young man, slightly older than him, went up to him, saying seductively, "Hey there, hott stuff! Let me buy you a drink!"

"Thanks!" Ashton, answered, obliviously, as Gyoro and Ururun tried to hide themselves, out of embarrassed.

He walked further into the packed building, inching his way towards the stage, determined to meet this girl. He saw only her face; crimson eyes with neatly plucked eyebrows with brown hair with blonde tips, but no dragons. Ashton blushed as he continued to walk closer. Eventually, he got too close to the stage. Albel was dancing on stage, twirling around the pole, wearing nothing. This made Ashton scream, dashing towards the exit. He was stuck; men were cramming everywhere, most pitching his bottom, as he couldn't move. Tears ran down his face as he reached his arm out towards the exit. It was only three metres away but he couldn't even move a millimetre. His dragons decided to help the poor man out by burning the men around him, causing the men to move, and freezing them, making them unable to grope Ashton. Ashton raced out of there, throwing himself unto the ground, panting each breath.

"That was a quick visit." Fayt commented, poking Ashton with a stick.

"What is that place?" Ashton asked, traumatized.

"A gay strip bar." Fayt replied. "I'm not gay, but Maria forced me to be a bouncer."

"I share your pain." Ashton cried.


	6. Opera is still dunk

Adrey entered the House of Hottness, shoving his way through the crowd of screaming Pimp Master C! fans, batting them like flies. When he made it to the back door he opened it as fast as he could, scraping the fangirls off of the door, and quickly slammed the it, kicking the insane girls out. He kneeled on the floor, catching his breath for a few moments, then walked over to the bar, opening the boxes of alcohol. He gasped in shock: all of the boxes where empty! Chisato would have a fit if she finds out! He ran backstage, screaming, "Where did the a bottles go? We just got the shipment today!" Opera waddled down the hallway wearing kitty ears, swaying each step, eventually falling backwards.

"Opera!" Adrey hissed, marching his way over to the drunken woman. "Did you drink all the alcohol?"

"I onny had two boxez!" Opera mumbled, digging her hands in her pocket, throwing bills at him. "Here is da money fer it! Take it all!"

"I think you should visit Alcoholics Anonymous." Adrey suggested, picking the money off of the floor. "It's only eight o'clock."

"I not dunk!" Opera growled. "Yer the dunk! We see in da morning who da dunk really iz!"

Nel walked into the hallway, starring at Opera sprawling on the floor like a dead man with drool dripping down her mouth.

"How are we supposed to give out drinks if you drank everything?" Adrey asked, aggressively.

"I'll go to the LCBO and pick some up." Nel offered, picking Opera, swinging her arm around her shoulder. "Where can I put here for the rest of the night?"

"I dunno." Adrey replied, exiting the corridor.

"Get me anudder drink, Melery!" Opera muttered, slurring her words together.

"My name isn't Melery," Nel yelled, dragging Opera around to her dressing room, "it's Nel! Aren't those my ears?"

"Look, I don't tell you my name izn't Opera when it isn't, but…" Opera grumbled as she fell asleep.

She turned the knob to her dressing room, and opened the door. Letting out a shriek of embarrassment she began to blush: Cliff was standing right in front of her only wearing a gansta toque.

"Sorry!" She blurted out reaching for the doorknob.

"You don't have to apologize, sweetie." He said, flirtatiously as he moved closer to her. "I'll be waiting for you after work, but we can't play too long. I have a shoot for a romance novel cover tomorrow at ten. I'm not doing anything the next morning so I'm all your tomorrow night."

Nel slammed the door on his face, screaming, "Pervert!" The daily flirting annoyed Nel as much as Precis calling her Nelly. She couldn't tell if he was serious half the time, then she realized that she was a breathing woman. If there is a breathing woman around him he must hit on her until she either: slaps him, or makes out with him. For a regular girl it would be the second option, but for Nel it is always the first, with some crotch kicking. He didn't mind because he viewed crotch kicking as a birth control method, plus it was a challenge for him, and Nel was his only challenge. It was almost as if she was a man, but even males couldn't resist his charm. She waddled down the hall, hauling Opera around as she came to Dias' dressing room and knocked, trying to avoid another repeat. Dias opened the door, greeting, "yes," as Nel closed her eyes just incase.

"Opera passed out and we need a place to put her." Nel explained, opening one eye. After seeing the clothing on Dias she opened the other. "I would take her with me but I'm going to get alcohol."

"Cliff is on first so I'll watch over her." Dias nodded, motioning Nel in. "Just throw her in the corner away from my precious wardrobe. I found a bucket in the closet a few days ago, she can use that."

"Thanks." She said, barging into the room, dropping Opera unto the floor and pulled out a martini glass from her pocket. "When she wakes give her some water and say it's vodka; she's too drunk to know the difference."

Strolling out of the room Chisato approached her, demanding, "Can you spy on the competition tonight. Precis told me they are having the guy's night when we have the ladies nights and vise versa."

"I'm babysitting Opera, I guess she can come." Nel answered. "Are we going to give them bird flu as she insisted?"

"No, just spy on them."

000000

Opera and Nel hid in a bush, waiting for the employees to exit through the back door. A young woman, around Nel's age, walked out wearing a strange hat on her head and a bed sheet wrapped around her dress. Her dress was tighter than Albel's leggings and barely covered herself.

"So this is the stripper Friday-Saturday nights." Nel pondered, looking closer at her.

"CELINE!" Opera hollered, jumping up, revealing their hidden location. "Yer a bad girl! You strip!"

"Eh?" Celine questioned, turning around to face Opera with a smile on her face. "Hi darling! What are you doing hiding in a bush? I haven't seen you in ages. I'm not a stripper; I'm the bartender. If I became a stripper I wouldn't have a boyfriend. How are you doing, darling?"

"Goo!" Opera replied as Nel pulled on her arm, forcing her to duck, and placed her hand over her mouth.

"Where did you go, darling?" Celine asked, wondering around.

Celine shrugged her shoulders and left the ally, almost tripping over her high heels on the cobble stone pavement. A young girl, slightly older than Precis, clung unto the arms to a man around Claude's age, leaving the building hand and hand.

"You told me you wouldn't work here!" the girl said, hostilely, tightening the grip on his arm. "I don't want girls drooling over you when they are in line."

"Don't worry, I won't cheat on you." The guy answered. "I know you would kill me if I left you for another woman, Sophia. Besides, they are here to see the strippers, not me."

"Still, you're mine and I don't want you near another woman, including what's her face." Sophia hissed, rubbing her head against his arm.

"Who, Maria? Fayt laughed as his voice dimmed as they walked farther away. "She's just my boss and I rarely see her."

"Just your boss!" Sophia growled, as Nel almost couldn't hear her because of the distance. "You better not be sleeping with her! If you are I'll cut off your-" was the last word Nel could hear.

"Maria must run this place." Nel thought as she wrote the information down on the handy notebook Chisato gave her.

Opera passed out, again, sleeping on the grass as Nel let go of the hand covering her mouth. Nel doesn't know why Ernest puts up with his drunken girlfriend; even her massive gun of death has a pouch that carries a flask. Another young woman walked out of the bar, wearing a skirt with a slit down the side, revealing black socks that went up to the thigh.

"Another successful night for me." She hummed to herself. "It's a shame I can't work every night."

"You must be the stripper." Nel greeted, popping out of the bush like toast out of a toaster. "I guess we are rivals."

"We're always are rivals, honey." She answered, turning around revealing her face.

"Albel?" Nel blurted out, in shock. "I thought this was a men's club Friday and Saturday nights?"

"It is, worm." He said, crossing his arms as he stuck out his hip in a femine fashion. "It's a gay bar on those nights."

"So the rumours were true." Nel smirked, as she held unto Opera, dragging her out of the bush.

"Oh course, this sexy package is only available to men." He said, as he posed like a supermodel, showing off his figure. "Well, honey, I have a hot date tomorrow so see you around. Oh, and those kitty ears so do not go with your hair; and your outfits are so last season! I guess not everyone can be as sexy as I am." He giggled, sticking his hand out, as he walked using his hips out of the alleyway.

"He's such a drama queen!" Nel hissed as she heaved Opera out of Central City.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: I wasn't really feeling well when I wrote the last part so I hope it turned out well. Thanks for the reviews! LCBO is a store here in Ontario where alcohol is sold.

Dias – Stripper for House of Hottness (Sugar Sexy Dias)

Cliff – dido (Pimp Master C!)

Chisato – Manager of the House of Hottness/Journalist

Nel- Stripper for the House of Hottness (Naughty Mew

Ernest – Bouncer for HOH (house of hotness, hey it spells ho!)

Mirage – dido

Opera – random drunk

Noel – Stripper for the Men Factory (Wild Exotic Beast)

Bowman – dido (Doctor Physical of Love)

Albel – dido (Dragon Tamer of Love)

Fayt – Bouncer for the Men Factory

Maria – Manager for MF

Ashton – barrel hunter

Celine- Bartender for MF

Adrey- bartender for HOH

Sophia – Insane girl who is obsessed with Fayt

Precis – dido only with Claude

Claude- Precis' pet

Rena- Pimp Master C! fan/???

Roger - ???

Peppita -???

Leon- ???


	7. House of Hotness vs Men Factory

Another Tuesday, another field trip to Central City. Chisato was giving her articles to her editor; Cliff was seeing if he could break his record for flirting with the most about of women; Opera was at the Tavern drinking; Mirage decided to stay permanently and accompanied Opera, making sure she didn't pass out or get into any fights; Dias was seeing if he could find a better sword than he owned; Ernest went to the Library in North City to learn about the ruins on Nede; and Nel had been admiring the foreign city but decided to arrive at the rendezvous early.

Two sluts were seen from the distance, both wearing leggings and skirts with slits down the side. Nel chuckled at the sight of one girl being extremely flat chested, and the other with implants the size of Pamela Anderson, thinking, "I guess one girl stole the other girls boobs." They came closer; the flat chested one gave Nel a glare, whispering into the other hos ear and started to laugh, stroking her little doggie in her Louis Vuitton bag. Nel took a closer look and thought, "No wonder why she's flat chested; It's Albel."

"Oh look, it's miss naughty with in comes to rules in fashion." Albel laughed, walking closer to Nel, sticking his hand out. "Someone likes to pretend to be a slutty Tokyo Mew Mew bitch."

"Someone must like that show a little too much seeing as you copied one of the hair styles, which may I remind you that show is so last season." Nel defended, crossing her arms. "Isn't that a knock off Louis Vuitton purse?"

"It is, dawling," Celine exclaimed, yanking the purse off of Albel, examining it, "Albel, how could you buy a knock off? The first rule in fashion is to not by a knock off, dawling!"

"You bitch!" Albel cried, unsheathing his sword. "How dare you embarrass me, worm! I know more fashion than you will ever learn!"

"If you're looking for a sword fight, challenge me." Dias beckoned, marching towards them.

"You're on, bitch!"

**Quarter Finals- Round One: Dias vs. Albel**

"Air Slash!" Albel hissed, as he brushed his sword, creating a trail of wind at Dias. Dias blocked the attack, screaming, "It's bad enough Claude stole my attack, now you?"

"Air Slash!" Dias grunted, as he brushed his sword, creating a trail of wind at Albel. Albel moved away from the attack, running towards Dias, yelling, "Shockwave Swirl." Moving his sword in an arc motion, as wind in a pretty, purple colour, almost matching his outfit, moved upward, hitting Dias.

"You jerk!" Dias growled, placing his sword on the ground, "That's just Air Slash in short range!" He moved his sword in an arc motion as wind blew, hitting Albel.

"Shockwave Swirl sounds better!" Albel defended, retreating to long range.

"It sounds gay!" Dias hollered, swinging his sword, "Air Slash!"

"Air Slash, you maggot!" Albel answered, repeating the same motions as Dias.

"Air Slash!"

"Air Slash!"

"Air Slash!"

"Shockwave Swirl!"

"Air Slash in short range!"

"Air Slash close up!" Albel panted, as he took a pause. "Hey, you were right."

"Air …Slash!"

"Air… Sl….ash." Albel huffed, as the two of them pass out beside each other.

**Score: The House of Hottness 0 The Men Factory 0**

Nel raced over towards Dias, starring at the X marks in his eyes and his tongue sticking out of his mouth. She shook him, but he remained immobile. Lifting herself up she called out, "Adrey, come here and revive Dias with your runeology!" Adrey ran towards Dias and started chanting. His chanting stopped as a small ball of fire hit him. Turning around he saw Celine with her rod out, readying to attack.

"It's heraldry, not runeology, dawling!" She informed. "I have no idea why one would want to call it that. Since the chapter of this story says, 'House of Hottness versus Men Factory' I presume us mages are fighting, dawling."

"Fine, but I won't go easy on you because you are a woman, _dawling_." Adrey mimicked, stepping towards her, ignoring Dias. "I have more runes tattooed on than you do, so this will be a piece of cake."

"You pervert!" Celine growled, placing her hands on her hips. "No one is supposed to see my runes, darling!"

"Well, if you dress like a skank you are going to get those reactions. Besides, everyone can see them." Adrey admitted. "Now let's start this fight."

**Quarter Finals – Round Two: Adrey vs. Celine**

"Southern Cross!" Adrey screamed, as the ground turned into a gothic style cross with his body in the centre. Celine stood there, filing her nails as the cross wasn't long enough to hit her.

"Are you finished, dawling?" She asked, putting her nail file back into her pocket. "That was a pathetic! I'll show you a real Southern Cross, dawling!" Closing her eyes she began to chant, after a few moments she yelled, "Southern Cross!" In the sky five stars formed, what was supposed to be a cross because it's called Southern Cross not Southern Line or Southern X, a line and began to descend from the heavens, with colourful tails, hitting Adrey in a cross shape. He collapsed unto the ground, with spirals spinning in his eyes, admitting his defeat.

"Oh, is it already finished?" Celine asked, placing her hands on her hips, closing her eyes with a smirk.

**Score: The House of Hottness 0 The Men Factory 1**

Chisato ran down the street towards the fight, taking notes on her handy dandy notepad. Seeing Adrey lye on the ground made her sigh, "Crap, there goes another employee." She dragged his body towards Dias, trying to wake them up by poking at them with a stick. A shot hit Chiasto in the back, causing her to turn around. A blue haired chick crossed her eyes in anger saying, "How dare you injury my gay striper!"

"You're hutchie hurt my bartender same and your flamboyant go-go dancer hurt my playboy!" Chisato added, getting her gun out of her pocket. "Let's fight, manger vs. manger!"

**Quarter Finals – Round Three: Chisato vs. Maria**

"Gravity Bullet!" Maria screamed, shooting an orb of doom at Chisato.

Chisato dodged it, racing towards Maria, spinning her body in a ball yelling, "Twister," as she hit her millions of times. Maria placed her gun at the side, twisting her body, aiming her leg at Chisato. Chisato lifted her leg, counter attacking, kicking Maria in the side.

"Triple Kick!" Maria growled, kicking, but alternating legs.

"You stole that from Mirage!" Chisato grunted, stepping away from Maria, dodging her attack. "Flame Thrower!" Chisato laughed, causing fire to burn Maria's precious hair.

"You bitch!" Maria cried, running around like a chicken with her head cut off. "My hair is my power!" She stumbled to the ground, knocked out.

"I wonder who the MVP is?" Chisato asked, posing like Fonzie.

**Score: The House of Hottness 1 The Men Factory 1**

"Serves you guys right for attacking us." Nel smirked, crossing her arms.

"We'll see about that." Bowman grinned, appearing out of nowhere wearing a pink bunny suit. "Whoa… your hair is so bright. It's like red, but blood red."

"Are you stoned?" Cliff asked, also appearing out of nowhere. "Give me some!"

"I used them all up." Bowman giggled, starring at gold, shiny ring around Celine's hat. "Let's fight for no apparent reason."

**Quarter Finals – Round Four: Cliff vs. Bowman**

Cliff charged towards Bowman, throwing his fists at him. Bowman stood there like a bump on the log, amused at the shiny zipper on Cliff's shirt. Cliff struck him several times, questioning, "Aren't you going to fight back?" Bowman raised his fists up; the shininess of the brass knuckles caught his attention.

"You need to lay off the drugs." Cliff informed, giving him the final blow. "Aerial Assault." He yelled, as Bowman stumbled unto the ground with x marks in his eyes. Cliff gave a thumbs down, sighing, "Moron, know your enemy before you strike the first blow."

"Um… wouldn't you be the moron since he didn't do anything?" Nel pondered to herself.

**Score: The House of Hottness 2 The Men Factory 1**

"We sure showed them!" Nel smiled, patting Cliff and Chisato on the back. "I don't even have to cast healing on anyone!"

"Someone's lazy," A voice added, "You didn't even do anything." A blue haired guy, accompanied by a teenager fan girl attached to his arm appeared from the distance.

"Fight this bitch!" Sophia commanded, giving him a push. "I'll bake you some cookies if you win."

"And a bedtime story?" Fayt asked, cheerfully, like a child on Christmas. Sophia nodded, chanting Angel Feather to boost his abilities, and tied his blankie around his waist for good luck.

"Cheater," Nel hissed, unsheathing her dagger, "Casting a spell to boost your attack before a battle is cheap! I'll teach you a lesson!"

**Quarter Finals- Round Five: (Hopefully, the last round) Nel vs. Fayt**

"Flying Guillotine!" Nel hollered, summoning purple disc of death at Fayt. Fayt ran towards her, swinging his sword upward, throwing her in the air, and then spun a flip, kicking her, as she fell to the ground.

"My mommy is going to be happy that I stood up to bullies." Fayt smiled.

"Lightning Chain!" Nel yelled, as sparks illuminated the ring, flying in random directions, hitting Fayt every three seconds. "Now for the final blow, Mirror Slice!" Nel attempted to kick him, but failed as Fayt counter attacked her by jumping in the air, throwing mysterious blue lines at her, screaming, "Air Raid." Nel lied on the ground, knocked out.

"All right, looking good." Fayt hailed, giving his victory pose, as he levelled up.

**Score: The House of Hottness 2 The Men Factory 2**

"Should we keep fighting, or go our separate ways, darlings?" Celine questioned, filing her nails.

"Let's keep fighting!" Cliff encouraged, "You can fight Chisato, I'll fight Fayt. The winners will face off!"

"You can do it Fayt." Sophia cheered, getting out her pom-poms. "My cheerleading abilities should help you!"

"This is an excellent news report!" Chisato smiled, writing everything down.

**Semi Finals – Round one: Chisato vs. Celine**

"Lunar Light!" Celine yelled, summoning beams of moonlight from the sky, causing an explosion in the middle of the ring. Chisato charged at her, growling, "Special Attack" kicking her repeatedly.

"You jerk!" Celine hissed, pulling on Chisato's hair. "You could have ruined my beautiful face, darling!" Chisato also grabbed unto Celine's hair, yanking at it. Celine shoved her face in the dirt grunted, "Face in Dirt Attack!" Chisato kicked her off of her screaming, "You're a mage not a fighter!"

"Take this!" Celine shouted, heaving her high heels at Chisato, "Shoe Attack of doom!"

"Oh ya," Chisato grinned, chucking pens at her, "Pen's of death!"

Celine's face was as red as Chisato's hair, as anger filled inside of her. She raised her hand, slapping Chisato, releasing her fury, "Bitch Slap attack!" Chisato admitted her defeat, collapsing unto the ground.

"I'm glad we're okay!" Celine stated, placing her hands on her hips, closing her eyes with a huge smile.

**Score: The House of Hottness 2 The Men Factory 3**

**Semi-Finals- Round Two: Cliff vs. Fayt**

They ran at each other, chasing each other down. Fayt attacked first, screaming, "Ice Blade," unsheathing his sparkly sword. Cliff took advantage of Fayt standing there, yelling, "Max Shockwave," throwing a yellow wave at him. Fayt flew across the room, hitting Sophia on the way down, falling unto the floor with spirals spinning in their eyes.

"Now I can say this," Cliff said, glancing over at Nel's body, "Moron, know your enemy before you struck the first blow!"

**Score: The House of Hottness 3 The Men Factory 3**

"Well, I guess I have to face you, darling." Celine sighed, looking at him with sadness in her eyes. "You're just so handsome I don't want to ruin your perfect face."

"How about you surrender and I'll take you out on a date." Cliff winked, offering his hand to her. Celine's face pinked as she took his hand.

"Of course, dawling!" She answered, clinging unto his arm. "Now, you promise to be my bodyguard?"

"Sure, I'm a service to the ladies!"

**Score: The House of Hottness 4 The Men Factory 3**

**Winner: The House of Hottness **

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AN: Sorry Maria fans, but her movement is like a snail dying compared to Chisato's lightning fast movement. I was lazy when writing this chapter, so deal with it :P. Thanks for the reviews and please continue to comment/ give suggestions. Dawling isn't a typo; I can picture Celine saying dawling. I hope you liked the randomness.Oh, and Chisato does say Special Attack when she uses Whirlwind, it's not a random thing I added for humour.


	8. The Loonie Bin?

Nel finished the preparations for her act, and waited backstage for her cue to arrive on the stage. She hummed a merry tune, with a smile on her face. Cliff and Dias had the day off and she had the dressing room all to herself. She skipped around, closing her eyes as if she were on cloud nine, feeling content that for one day Cliff didn't annoy her. She stumbled on something, falling to the ground.

"Ow, watch where you're going!" A voice hissed.

"Sorry," Nel apologized, turning around to see the harmed person. A boy with cat ears and a lab coat rubbed his side, with his face looking as if he wanted to kill her. Nel raised herself up, shooing the little boy, shielding his eyes, like a soccer mom, screaming, "Children aren't supposed to be here!"

"Precis had asked me to produce a vaccine which will enable the user to become ill with the avian flu." The bratty child growled, smacking Nel over the head with a book. "I am supposed to be at this location to discuss which vaccine is appropriate, what chemical compound to use, and which intensity is necessary. Don't you know who I am?"

"If I did I wouldn't try to kick you out." Nel argued, covering her chest with her arms. "Now, go home and play with your toy cars."

"I'm _Doctor_ Leon Geeste, not some half-witted child who doesn't know the basics of scientific knowledge and uses their past time to be involved in something unproductive." Leon explained, offended by Nel's comment. "Now, if you excuse me, I have important business to attend."

"You mean Precis is going to be here?" Nel asked, as her eyes widened. "Oh, shit!"

"How vulgar of you," Leon answered, whacking her again with his book, "of coarse she will be here, she _is_ the owner."

"HI, NELLY!" A high-pitched voice squealed. The brunette, and another young girl, jumped towards them. "I-BOUGHT-A-FRIEND-AND-I-HEARD-THOSE-JERKS-TRIED-TO-KILL-YOU! SEE-GIVING-THEM-BIRD-FLU-IS-A-GREAT-IDEA-EVEN-CHISATO-AGREES!"

"HI," The friend greeted, with a high pitch, but not nearly as high as Precis, "NAUGHTY-MEW-YOU-ARE-SO-MY-HERO! I-HAVE-ALL-OF-YOUR-POSTERS-AND-I-SO-WANT-TO-BE-YOU-WHEN-I-GROW-UP! REMEMBER-ME-NELLY?"

"Of coarse," Nel sighed, as her urge to steal Leon's book and hit them over the head with it rose, "Who couldn't forget Peppita?"

"I-AGREE-WITH-HER-YOU-ARE-SO-COOL-WHEN-I'M-EIGHTEEN-I-WANNA-BE-A-STRIPER!" Precis smiled, looking at Nel as if she were a celebrity. "I-TOLD-MY-DAD-AND-HE-WENT-TO-THE-CORNER-AND-CRIED-SAYING-'OH-MY-TRIA-MY-DAUGHTER-IS-A-SKANK-WHAT-HAVE-I-DONE?' THEN-HE-STARRED-INTO-MY-EYES-SOBBING, "DON'T-STRIP-YOU'RE-MY-ONLY-DAUGHTER-AND-NOW-YOU'RE-A-SLUT-LIKE-YOUR-MOTHER!"

"Interesting, why are you're eyes so red?" Nel asked, giving into temptation by poking her eyes. "I knew you were on drugs. No one is that hyper."

"WE-DO-HELIUM," Peppita explained, with a giant smile, as if she was on something illegal. She pranced around holding a balloon in her hand, offering it to Nel, telling her, "THAT'S-WHY-OUR-VOICES-ARE-SO-HIGH! DO-YOU-WANT-SOME? MY-NAME-MEANS-PUMPKIN-SEEDS-IN-SPANISH! MY-JAPANESE-NAME-IS-SOUFFLE-WHICH-IS-BREATH-IN-FRENCH!"

"I think you _all_ should be sent to the loonie bin." Nel recommended, popping the balloon. "Seriously, being a prosti-tot, and addicted to helium isn't something you should be proud of. Chisato, Ernest, Mirage and I are the only sane ones in this story!"

"Hey, just because I wear this outfit does not mean I'm crazy!" Albel yelled, appearing out of nowhere wearing a pink tutu (1), a purple corset, red lipstick and high heels. "It's in fashion this season!" He growled, disappearing into smoke, like a fairy princess. "Uh…" was the only sound that could come out of Nel's mouth.

"That's a great Idea," Chisato exclaimed, frolicking down the hallway, "The House of Hottness and The Men Factory workers get sent to the nut house for being a bunch of psychos who like to dance with shiny objects. This masterpiece of an article will enable me to win an award!"

"You spelt everything wrong on this page." Nel informed, pointing to the scribbles on her notebook. "'Precis iz crrazee sen to nutty howse. Albel ware dem tootoo,' doesn't make any sense. When you said, 'That's a great Idea,' I presumed you agreed with me that everyone needed therapy. I guess I'm the only one who knows the truth."

"Hey, I nos dem good grammer!" Chisato hissed, continuing to "right" information down. "I use go 2 dem skool fer smarties! I onlee 1 who grad-you-ated! I reed, 'Hoe 2 spel fer dummies!'(2)"

"Whatever," Nel mumbled, as she rolled her eyes. Throwing the curtain to the side she entered the stage, following the announcement. She began to dance near the pole, seductively, letting out a smirk, amused that she could manipulate the stupidity of the crowd to give her more money. The pack rolled towards the stage, pushing everyone in one direction, as if it were glued together; with a shove Mirage placed them back. A blonde head, standing next to a blue one, stuck out like a nail, which needed to be pounded, much like Precis's face, caused her heart to explode in terror. She froze for a second, thinking, "No wonder why they weren't in today, they were in line! Perverts! Oh well, it's that or stand backstage with a bunch of idiots on crack."

0000000

Nel huffed, shuffling her feet on the floor, moving towards her dressing room. A young girl around her age ran out of Dias' room in tears, tripping on the ground, but an arm prevented her to splatter and sprawl unto the floor. Nel leaned against the wall like a ninja, cupping her hand to her ear, eavesdropping on the conversation.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think you're the father!" The girl had weep, burying her face into his chest. "Noel, Fayt, Claude, Cliff, Ashton and Adrey are just a few of the other possibilities."

"If you want a boyfriend that badly you shouldn't sleep around with the whole town!" The man suggested, lifting her up. "Can you narrow it down even more, Celine?"

"No," She cried, "This is like finding a needle in a hay stack, Dias!"

"It shouldn't be," Dias argued, "Look, I won't tell anyone if you won't tell everyone about my secret."

"I won't say a word, I promise!"

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AN: Thanks to Ice Seraphim for the suggestion that Albel should wear a tutu. Cutepiku is the one who made up, 'Hoe 2 spel fer dummies,' not me. I wanted to give credit to my friends for their interesting ideas. I guess their craziness has influenced me to write about Albel being a fairy princess and Chisato a person who can't spell worth beans. I guess spell check is her favourite tool, which is something I can't live without. Heheh I have a new story idea: Albel is the sugar plum fairy!!!! Hahahahahahahahaha I can't stop laughing. Thanks for reading and please review. Reviews make me feel happy. Rena and Roger are the only ones left! Wait, Ernest hasn't really been in the story, so he needs to be added. I've never had him in my party so it's going to be a while before I add him in because I don't really know his personality.


	9. Sailor Marine Warriors

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, including Sailor Moon and Star Ocean.

Cliff waltzed down the streets of fun city, picking up as many girls he could find. It's not his fault he was the most beautiful thing created, so why not use his beauty to have people admire him. After all, he considered himself as a living artwork. The lack of fan girls and/or boys on Sunday made the streets practically vacant. Only the workers who lived on the outskirts of the city were allowed to enter the amusement city on this day, but there were still women for Cliff to flirt with.

A cat, fell from the sky, landing on its two feet. It hissed, marching its way towards Cliff with its eyes looking as if it was possessed. Cliff reached inside his pocket, and pulled out a magical baton, chanting, "Sailor Marine Love Transformation!" A mini skirt, a tank top, and a sailor collar, while various ribbons and bows were tied on, all pink, replaced his black jumpsuit.

"I am Sailor Marine Warrior of Love, and in the name of the House of Hottness, I will discipline you!" Cliff yelled, posing like a cheerleader on crack.

A dragon hung from the sky, descending the same height of the roofs of the buildings, revealing a human riding it. Cliff glared at the dragon, muttering, "Albel, that loser."

"I'm not Albel!" The man growled, throwing another cat at Cliff. "Your bar is damaging the environment, and killing chickens in order to produce a flu shot! You are the ones who should be disciplined! A lot of harsh chemicals in red and blue hair dye your strippers use seep into the ground water, destroying it!"

"Complain to Nel about the hair dye because my hair is naturally beautiful." Cliff answered.

"That bitch!" Dias hissed, appearing out of nowhere, shaking his fist in the air. "That was supposed to be a secret! How dare she tell everyone that my hair isn't naturally blue! Well guess what, SHE IS PREGNANT WITH EVERYONE'S CHILD!"

"Don't you read the tabloids?" the man asked, as if he was born yesterday. "It was written all over the news about Celine being a slut, so she presumed you were the big mouth."

"I will discipline you!" Dias shouted, pulling out a magical baton similar to Cliffs. "Sailor Marine Warrior Sea Transformation!"

"I will get you, sailor marine warriors, for I am the powerful Noel, a sailor marine warrior!" The man announced. Leaping into the air, he held a baton in his hands, and spiraled to the ground as gold ribbons surrounded him, giving him the same ensemble as Cliff and Dias. He landed on his feet, with his eyes unseen, introducing himself, "I am Sailor Marine Warrior of Earth."

"And I am Sailor Marine Warrior of War." A familiar voice beckoned, flipping down from the sky, landing beside Noel. "Also, known as Albel!"

"Well, evil sailor marine warriors, I am Sailor Marine Warrior of Wisdom!" Another voice from the distance called out, marching towards Cliff and Dias. "Marine Howl of Death!"

A violet orb of light flew towards the enemies with great speed, but they dodged the attack by jumping high into the air, as if they were on LSD. The man stood beside Cliff and Dias, wearing the marine warrior outfit in black, with his long, golden locks, swaying in the wind, accompanied with rose pedals.

"Ernest, I never knew you were a marine warrior!" Cliff stated in shock. "Warrior of Wisdom? Sounds stupid, did Leon pick that out?"

"No, I did!" Ernest hissed, glaring at Cliff. "I'm way more smarter then dat brat will be!"

"Marine Arrow of Fire!" Albel yelled, aiming an arrow at the quarreling warriors, posing with one leg bend.

A rose fell from the sky, canceling out the arrow, while strange Spanish guitar music was played from somewhere. A man wearing a tuxedo and a top hat stood on a building, introducing himself, "Fire is supposed to be beauty of love, not evil. I, Tuxedo Roger, will protect the warriors. Show this man what love is Sailor Marine Warrior of Love."

"Marine Mirror of Aqua!" Dias screamed, aiming a mirror, appearing from nowhere, at the enemy. "I wanna be in the spotlight! I'm prettier than Cliff!"

Water sprayed from the mirror, splashing the evil warriors, drenching them, as they cried out, "WE'RE MELTING, NO!"

"No one is physically prettier than I am!" Cliff snapped.

A magical baton, the shape of a heart, appeared out of nowhere, landing in Cliffs hands. He spun around, posing each chance he got. After several hours, he raised the baton above his head, shouting, "Marine Kiss of Honey!" Pink light surrounded everywhere, sparkling the enemies with magical dust. They jumped to safety on the dragon, using every ounce of energy they had.

"We will get you next time!" Noel growled, throwing another cat at Cliff.

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AN: This chapter is short because I was lazy. Sorry for the long update, but I have a life. Thanks for reading, and please review!


	10. Father or No Father

"This is too expensive!" Celine growled, pacing back and forth, stomping each step she took. "It's going to cost over one million Fol to have each potential father take a test! If only there is an easier way."

"There is," Nel added, while she rolled her eyes, looking at Celine as if she were a moron. She lounged on the chesterfield playing with one of the ears to her kitty ears. "It's called _not_ sleeping with the whole town."

"Enough!" Celine hissed, chucking one of her stilettos at Nel. Being a trained mercenary, she grabbed it in one hand, other holding the ears. "I'm tired of people calling me a skank! Cliff is a whore and no one looks down upon his habit, but when a woman sleeps around everyone wants to burn her at the stake!"

"You're right, "Nel agreed, changing her attitude while fixing her posture. "Why should women be social outcasts? I have a plan for that slut! Men are pigs!"

Nel slammed her hands beside her on the seat of her couch then lifted her body, letting go of the shoe and ears. Her feet marching towards the hallway, Celine follows. As soon as they reach the corner of Chisato's office, Nel punches the door. She barges in, almost like a robot on a mission to kill. Luckily, Chisato slipped out and left her handy dandy notebook.

"Ooo, what plans do you have?" Celine asked in amusement, peering over her shoulder.

0000

Cliff waltzed down the street, doing his usual flirting with the ladies. He approached a young girl showing off his pearly whites with a smile. The young girl's face was of that of horror. She whacked him with her purse, sprinting down the street as if anger bulls chased her. Cliff rubbed the sides of his face with his eyebrows crossed. A lady ran away from him. Something wasn't right. He approached another girl, only to have something strike him in the leg, feeling sharpness pierce through his skin. He turned around; millions of rocks were being lauched at him.

"Take that you jerk!" Celine screamed, hurling miscellaneous items, such as tomatoes, spoons, paper clips, cats, at him in a vicious manner.

"I can't believe I got Herpes from Cliff!" A young girl cried, throwing rocks at him.

Cliff placed his arms over his face, protecting himself, still in confusion. He visited the doctor every week to see if he contracted something, but he never tested positive for anything. He turned around, running away from the anger mob of doom, while they chased him with pitchforks and flaming torches in their hands. He quickly darted into a convenient store, slamming the door, crutching into a fetal position on the floor, while the mob ran past the store.

"Serves you right!" The shopkeeper snorted, sweeping up the floors behind the counter.

"What's going on?" Cliff asked, still in a fetal position.

"Haven't you read the tabloids?" The shopkeeper dropped his broom, pulling out a newspaper from behind him. "Only fifty Fol."

Cliff crawled towards the counter, glancing back and forth, crouched from the window. Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out fifty Fol, lifting his hand to the counter, and grabbing the newspaper.

"Pimp Master C!, also known as Cliff Fitter, has contracted Herpes, AIDS, Chlamydia, Syphilis, Genital Warts, and one hundred other STD's as of last fall. His doctor claims he doesn't bathe, eats children, and kills cute innocent bunnies in his spare time." Cliff read out loud, while scrunching his face in anger.

0000

"Hi, and welcome to Father or No Father." A man wearing a suit, holding a microphone greeted. "Today our contestant is Celine who now lives in Central City. There are thirty guys on the stage each with a case. In each case, there is a sign saying "Father, or, "Not the Father". Are you ready to play, Celine?"

"I'm ready!" Celine answered, with a big smile on her face. "I'm going to pick number eighteen, since I was born on September 18th."

"Fayt, open your case!" The host commanded, pointing to the blue haired man wearing a sparkly, revealing dress.

"WAIT A SECOND!" A girl in the audience shouted. "FAYT! HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME! THAT'S IT, I'M GOING TO CUT IT OFF!"

"No, anything but that!" Fayt cried, kneeling on the floor, begging. "I won't do it again I promise!"

"TOO LATE, IT'S GOING TO BE CUT OFF!" Sophia snapped, racing to the stage, pulling out scissors from her back pocket. She gave a sadistical laugh while chopping the air, moving the scissors closer to Fayt.

"NOT MY BEAUTIFUL BLUE HAIR! NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!" Fayt screamed, while scissor noises were heard. Sophia placed the scissors back, skipping up to her seat while Fayt sat there, bald, with his hair in his hands weeping.

"Fayt, open your damn case!" Celine hissed, marching to the stage. "I'll open it myself!"

Celine prayed it open, as it read, "Not the Father." She gave a sigh of relief, pacing back into her spot.

"Pick another case." The host informed, kicking the sobbing Fayt off of the stage.

"How about my age, nineteen!" She smiled, pointing to a random bum, while she heard the host laugh hysterically. "You wish you were nineteen!"

"Fine, twenty-three!"

Albel unlocked the case opening it as the audience went into whispers. "That's how I found out I was gay!" He grunted, as he revealed the "Not the Father" sign. "I could have told you that!" He said, hostilely, rolling his eyes.

"How about ten, for the number of plastic surgeries I've had." She decided, pointing to Dias.

Dias fiddled with the lock, unable to open it. He threw it on the floor, jumping on it, until it broke. Reaching inside the case, he pulled out a sign that said, "Father." The crowd made one large gasp as Celine fainted unto the floor.

Old AN: I was going make it Noel, but I have another plan for him. Everyone in this story loves their precious hair as if they were Samson. This story is almost done, one more character to go. Thanks for reading and review and please comment on this chapter.

New AN: I beefed up the beginning and added the end part to the new chapter. It's better so keep reading :)


	11. The New Employees

"WHAT!" Cliff screamed at the top of his lungs, almost straining his voice. "You can't fire Pimp Master C! Besides Nel, I'm the only one bringing money to this joint!"

"Sorry," Chisato apologised handing Cliff a piece of paper folded in half. "Normally, negative press boosts sales, but I don't think any woman would want to see Pimp Master C! anymore. Precis has already hired your replacement."

"What do you mean you're sorry?" Cliff argued, slamming his hands on the desk. "You were the one that wrote that article!"

"I submitted it for the huge paycheque, but I didn't write it." Chisato explained, grabbing a pen from her drawer. Looking him into the eyes wasn't something she could do. "You're thirty-six years old and your time was going to be up soon. It was fun Cliff, but all good things must come to an end. Also, the new stripper is ten times hotter than you will ever be" She gave a smirk while shooing him with her hands. "Besides, Dias is leaving soon."

Cliffs eyes resembled Sophia's meteor swam attack. If Chisato had a glanced she'd be burned toast. His fingers nudged the paper as it slipped through. He then crushed it into the tiniest ball ever. His body darted towards the hallway.

"Hey Cliff-" Nel called to him in the distance. She stood by the office. As he entered the hallway, Nel's voice quivered. Her body was weak. Cliff was a type B person who got along with everyone, even if there was drama. He glanced at her then glanced in front of him. "I'm sorry."

He paused for a moment then jolted his body around. "Don't tell me." He muttered.

"It wasn't meant to be real." She clarified. "Celine and I were having-"

"Oh, so blame Celine! The woman will have ten kids with eleven dads!" Cliff interrupted while rolling his eyes and waving his arms.

"Hey!" Nel defended. "It's okay for you to be with how many women, but she can't? I bet you have unheard of children!"

Cliff jerked his back to face her as he stormed off. When approached his dressing room he nearly hesitated to go in, but passed it. Nel's body plummeted to the ground, releasing all of her weight. "He helped me." She sighed, "And I stabbed him in the back."

00000

Noel sipped his herbal, environmentally friendly, non-animal tested, organic, green tea at the café, reading the newspaper. A young woman with several children walked by, causing Noel to hide himself by burying his head in the newspaper he was reading.

"Noel!" The girl hissed, slamming her hand down on the table. "Where is my child support payment!"

Noel folded the paper, placing it beside his tea with a large fake smile on his face, replying, "Uh…. Maybe the cheque didn't make it to you. The Nedian Post is really messed up now a days."

"So, five cheques were missing?" The girl screamed, holding the hand of one of her many little ones. "You call yourself a father! I've talked the other mothers of your children and they say you give them child support, but I don't get one Fol!"

"Look, I have 984579843 children with 834 women." Noel explained. "I don't have that money."

"Well, get some more!" The girl shouted, parting from the café.

"I've been pimping you well." Another girl asked, from behind him. Noel went to look but the woman sat down infront of him.

"You sure have Rena."

000000

Nel composed herself and peeled herself up from the floor. She entered her room, shifting her feet around, dragging them as she flopped unto the chesterfield. She closed her eyes, dozing off into a half sleep.

"Eppp! It's a girl!" A high-pitch squeal was heard, causing Nel to joint her eyes open, turning around. A man wearing a black dress with dragons on his back huddled unto the doorframe.

"Ashton?" She asked, rolling herself off of the couch. "You can't be the new stripper."

"That's right!" Ashton nodded, ripping his cloak off, revealing a navy blue speedo, a black tie and placing a blue hat on his head. "I'm Officer Strip Search!"

"uh… that's interesting." Nel mumbled, walking towards the doorway. "Make yourself at home."

0000000

Cliff dumped himself on the barstool, slothfully as if he had been one of Opera's hangovers. He called the bartender and starred into the television, gazing at the hockey game displayed above the bar. A young adult male swung the doors to the bar with a large smile on his face as if he had been doing too much pre-drinking.

"Woooooooooot!" He hollered, running inside the bar, twirling around. "I'm finally free!"

Cliff and Fayt turned around, glaring at this happy soul, throwing peanuts at him.

"Why are you so happy?" Fayt asked, scornfully, taking a sip of his beer. "My girlfriend broke up with me."

"My girlfriend broke up with me, too!" The man explained, jumping unto the barstool in between Cliff and Fayt as if he were on acid. "Well, she wasn't really my girlfriend, more like creepy stalker. I'm finally free from her!"

"Claude, let's celebrate!" Opera cheered, appearing out of nowhere, raising her glass. "I get you a dink!"

"You're Claude?" Cliff questioned, in shock. "It's kinda hard to recognized you without all the chains, ropes, etc Precis had all over you."

"Precis dumped you the same way my precious Sophia dumped me: because of Celine!" Fayt wept, burring his face in his hands. "Sophia, I said I was sorry!"

"Dunt cry, you dunt deserbe her she's a B-I-T…. I forget the rest." Opera added, putting an arm over Fayt shoulder.

"It's hard to believe Opera's is an aristocrat." Cliff added, turning over towards the television.

"And now a word from our sponsors!" The television called out, as everyone glanced at the television. "Are you tired of being fat? Do you need to be in shape? Do you resemble a blob? Well, the Captain of the Central City Cheerleaders, Sophia Esteed, has a work out plan for you!"

"SOPHIA!" Fayt cried out, running towards the bathroom.

Sophia was seen on the screen wearing spandex suit, leg warmers, head band, wrist bands, and her hair in a side ponytail, saying, "With my video you will go from a size 93759874359879457984 to a size 0, and lose at least 49857398 kilograms a week! Also, check out these special guests." Bowman, Albel, Noel, Dias and Ernest appeared behind her wearing the same spandex, legwarmers, etc. ensemble as Sophia.

"Yo, blondie!" A female voice beckoned as Claude and Cliff turned around. "I'll talk to you later, Cliff. Claude, you seem like a handsome and free man. Do you want to be rich? I mean loaded with cash. You can buy a lot of video games and you don't have to continue your studies."

"Sorry, this seems like a scam." Claude added, taking a sip of beer.

"It's not, it's working for me." The girl answered, walking towards the bar. "You'll have all the ladies wanted and drooling over you."

"What are you a pimp(1)?" Claude asked, sarcastically, glaring into the girls blue eyes.

"I guess you can call me that." The girl replied, handing over her business card, taking off the trench coat that covered all of her body. "Rena Lanford. I need fresh and young talent for my boy band."

"BOOO!" Cliff yelled, chucking more peanuts at Rena.

"I do have a proposition for you Cliff." Rena announced, brushing herself from the nuts. "Since no chick wants you the only way to become famous is to be someone else. You can help manage my band."

"A band sounds like fun!" Cliff said, cheerfully. "I wanna play the guitar!"

"You won't play the guitar, you are the manager." Rena explained. "It's a boy band."

"Life is in the pit of despair." Fayt came out of the bathroom dressed in all black with his hair in his face, off in a slant. "Dark despair of death."

"Oooo, young talent for my boy band!" Rena smiled, handing him a business card. "After all, Emo bands are boy bands with make-up! I'm sure it wouldn't be hard for you to write a song about a broken heart, so I want to see it!"

1. My friend cutepiku told me Rena should be a pimp, so I obeyed. Now, all the characters have been introduced. It won't be long until I finish this story up. Thanks for reading and please review!

New AN: I made the plot better :)


	12. The Boyband

"Here are the lyrics to your new song." Rena announced handing pieces of paper to Fayt and Cliff. "Your band mates will arrive soon."

"Without you I cannot live." Cliff read the title to one of the songs. "By: Fayt Leingod?"

"Yes, he wrote all of the lyrics to your songs." Rena explained as Cliff flipped through the pages, slimming through the lyrics.

"I like to write poetry on how my life is ruined without Sophia." Fayt answered, emotionlessly. "My life is decaying in the pit of despair. Death is my only friend."

"You sure like the word despair." Cliff pointed out, reading the rest of the lyrics. "How did your hair grow back?"

"I used a black wig since black is the colour of my soul." Fayt explained, solemnly. "I used to embrace Sophia, now I embrace darkness."

"So, you must be my band mates." A feminine voice was heard from the distance. A young woman entered the room wearing a deep magenta belly shirt and skirt with a mask of make-up on. "It's a shame none of you guys are cute, but I like your dark look. It's sexy."

"Sophia used to think I was sexy!" Fayt cried, placing his hands on his face, running to the corner.

"Shut up with the whole Sophia thing!" Cliff yelled. "No wonder why she dumped you!"

"You said you needed another member for your boy band, Rena?" Dias asked, entering into the room. "Who's this chick? I thought this was a boy band."

"I'm not a chick, I'm Albel!" He growled, throwing his purse at Dias. "Just because I'm a drag queen and a stripper for a gay bar, doesn't mean I'm a chick."

"Lose the layers of make-up and slutty skirt, you're a man in this band now!" Rena instructed, walking towards a cardboard box. Lifting the flaps, she threw clothes to each band member, tossing them in an orderly fashion. The outfit she gave them was the same only with a different colour of jacket. Baggy, boy band, black pants with a chain at the side and a loose dress shirt with a white t-shirt was the ensemble Rena gave them.

"How come Dias gets to wear black and I'm wearing blue?" Fayt complained, checking out his clothes. "Blue reminds me of the colour of those heavenly eyes Sophia has!"

"Her eyes are green, you retard!" Albel hissed, stripping down to his underwear, changing right in front of everyone. "This dusty rose colour suits me well!"

"Have you no shame?" Dias asked, glaring at Albel. "And it's red, not dusty rose!"

"What, I'm a stripper of course I don't have any!" He justified. "Well, I only came because I wanted a new outfit. Now that I got one I'll be on my way." Albel grabbed his purse and marched out the door.

The room went silent. Crickets chirped.

"Well, uh, I guess that leaves Fayt and Dias." Cliff scratched his head. "No offense, but that doesn't work." He handed Rena back the lyrics and headed for the door.

"Where are you going, jerk?" She demanded.

"I don't know." He answered. "I think I'll take some time off."

Dias took another look at his attire then looked at Cliff. His hands ripped his shirt off in one yank, almost as if it was part of his stripper act. "I'm out too. I'm too old for this. And I have a kid."

Rena grumbled as she threw the stack of lyrics to the ground. "Fine! Leave!"

She turned to Fayt. He just stood their, motionless. "Well, you leaving?"

Fayt shook his head.

"Good," Rena smiled. She pointed to the door, "Now get out! I didn't like your hair cut, anyways."

Fayt nodded.

00000

Opera hid in the alley, leaning against the wall, starring at the house across the street. She put on a pair of pantyhose over her head, covering her face and ran across the street. A gnome was in her vision, gazing at her with those black eyes of doom. She snatched the sucker, shoving it into her bag, dashing, more like waddling, out of the yard. Her steps were uneasy as she fell over, passing out on the grass.

The sun arose as Maria poked Opera's body with a stick, waking her up. Opera opened her eyes, lifting herself up, slothfully, looking at Maria in a dazed face.

"Stealing my gnomes again?" Maria screamed like a madwoman, whacking her with the stick, and then pulling out a shotgun from her back pocket. "Get outta my land!" She hollered, like a hillbilly.

Opera pulled out her massive gun of doom from her pocket, aiming it at Maria, mumbling, "Ma gun is better den yers!"

"That's my gun, too!" Maria pointed out the MT initials on the object. "And that's not a gun that's a shoe!"

"Oh," Opera giggled, as Maria pulled her arm, dragging her down the street.

"That's it, Opera! You're going to Alcoholics Anonymous!"

00000

"Ashton, you're the worse stripper ever!" Chisato screamed, chasing him with a whip. "We lost money last night because of your stupid act! Polka moves are not sexy!"

"Sorry, stripping makes me nervous!" Ashton answered, with tears in his eyes, running for his life.

"Besides Claude, you're the only guy left that's of age to strip." She grunted, slashing her whip.

"What about me?" Adrey asked, seductively, winking.

"Too wrinkly!" Chisato replied, as she swung her whip.

Ashton turned around, grabbing the whip in his hands, acting as if the whip was nothing. His eyes were cold as he yanked on the whip, releasing it from her hands. He spoke in a monotone, "Tonight will be the best show. I'm very talented so you better watch."

Chisato's eyes were sparkling, as hearts were flying, screaming in excitement, "That's Perfect! Ashton is way hotter when he is possessed!"

"He is sexy!" Nel added with a smile. "By the way, when is that club going to open?"

"Next week will be the opening." Chisato responded. "Things sure have changed now that Cliff iand Dias are gone."

"I sadly miss the old life." Nel frowned. "Who else is going to be a stripper in the new club?"

"Someone very special, very special."

AN: Sorry it took awhile but I have a life. :P This chapter isn't as great because I was tired when I wrote it so the next one will be better! Thanks for reading and please review.


	13. Psychotic Sophia

Fayt kneeled on the ground placing his hands over the grass, feeling his way around. Two smooth stones were caught in his hands as he stood up, aiming the rocks at the door behind the balcony. He threw the first one, breaking the window on the first story, while a cat hissed, angered at the rock. He took a step back, aimed higher, and tossed the rock at the door. It bounced back, hitting him in the face. The door slid, making Fayt strap on his guitar, singing, "Sophia, I love you, my Sophia. My soul is-" he was cut off. A man entered the balcony wearing only boxers. Fayt took a closer look; this wasn't an ordinary man, this was Albel.

"Do you mind?" Albel glared down at him, as Sophia wrapped her arms behind him wearing lacy underwear. "We are in the middle of something, honey."

"NO!" Fayt cried out, as his heart shattered into a million pieces; now more emo than ever. "How could you Sophia? I don't understand? Why him of all men? Wait, isn't he gay?"

"I totally love boobs now!" Albel spoke in a lisp, with his hand sticking out. "Now, run along and disturb someone else with your horrible screaming, and lack of fashion sense. Seriously, your skin tone doesn't go with that shirt."

Fayt's eyes started to water, as he started to wimple like a sad puppy. Sprinting down the street, he let out all of his emotions in an ear splitting cry, "Sophia!" Albel snickered, as he walked back inside the room, while Sophia followed, letting go of her arms around him. She went towards her purse, fishing out a five hundred Fol bill from her wallet, and then handed it over to Albel.

"That was so mean, Sophia. I never knew you could be so evil!" Albel laughed, putting on his skirt. "You've been hanging around me for too long. Ooo, where did you get that sexy lingerie? La Senza? I'm so getting that for myself."

"That cheating bastard deserved it." Sophia hissed, scooping up clothes from her closet, putting them on. "I'm completely over him. Besides, he's a moron. Obviously, we weren't doing anything. You're the gayest man any species have ever known."

"So, can I have him?" Albel asked, with a wide smile on his face. Sophia's faced scrunched up with her veins popping out, and eyebrows twitching, She turned her red face around, yelling, "NO! Fayt is my man!"

"I thought you were 'completely over him'?"

"I am." Sophia replied.

"That what are these?" Albel questioned, pointing towards the millions of posters of him around her room, while making his way towards the closet. She quickly closed the door, shoving him over, standing in front of it, answering, "Those are just posters."

"What are you hiding in your closet?" He asked, suspiciously, pushing her over.

"Nothing."

"Oh yeah?" He raised an eyebrow, hip checking her with all of his might, causing her to fall to the ground. He ripped the door open; his eyes lids opened all of the way. One second later the shock was replaced with laughed, as he chuckled, "Is this a shrine?"

A life-sized statute of Fayt was buried deep in her closet, accompanied by lit candles that were tiny pieces of wax. A blue hairball rested beside vials of crimson liquid on a ledge under the statue. The closet reeked of incense, but the two things that caught his attention the most was a doll made out of burlap and a mini fridge.

"What's this mini fridge doing here?" Albel asked, opening it up, but it was a lot cooler than a normal fridge. "Is that a voodoo doll?"

"Don't open it!" She screamed, racing towards the closet. Slapping his wrist away from the appliance, she slammed it shut. "They must be kept cold!"

"What did you do, rape him in his sleep?" He reacted, snatching the voodoo doll before She shooed him away from her precious shrine.

"Maybe, but I will be the only mother of his children! Now, give me back my voodoo doll!"

"No, Fayt is mine!" He snapped, hiding the doll under his arms. "Even the fangirls on fanfiction dot net agree with me!"

"Fayt is my man!" She hissed, with the fires of hell in her eyes, resembling some sort of demon. "I even have his blood flowing threw my veins. We will be connect forever as one!"

She leaped on him, like a cat, clawing her way through his arms, demanding, "Give him back!" Using all of her adrenaline, she yanked his arms away, grabbing the legs of the doll from him. He was quick to react by catching the head of the doll. They pushed and shoved, back and forth, forcing the doll to come their way. Eventually, the doll split in half by the groin, throwing them in opposite ways.

"What did you do?" She spoke, one word at a time in a slow, yet freighting, and tone. "YOU KILLED MY FAYT! I'LL KILL YOU WITH MY OWN HANDS, YOU BASTARD!"

He dropped the top half, running for his life out of the room and down the stairs. Sophia yelled, "Thunder Flare," holding him in place while she scooped up the pieces. After quickly stitching Fayt back, Albel was free. She saw him dart out of the house, so she jumped off of the balcony, chasing him like a mad woman. He was a fast running, but she was catching up to him, which made him increase his speed.

"Gravitation!" She called out, slowing him down. "COME BACK HERE!"

When she reached a metre away from him, she stopped sprinting. She waved her baton around like a cheerleader on crack, chanting, "Open the gateway to the sacred land-"

"Oh, shit," were the only words that went through his head. His eyes widened as he struggled to break free.

"And let fly the arrow of justice to strike down evil! Meteor-"

"Wait!" He interrupted. "Fayt's body is around here!"

"Fire Bolt." She hollered instead, hitting him pesky balls of fire, causing him to pass out. Searching around the area, she scanned left and right, trying to find his body.

A light from the night sky gleamed towards a small portion of the earth as an angel with blue hair descended from the heavens.

"Fayt!" She cried out, running towards the heavenly choral. A girl around her age with blue hair placed her hands above his body, casting some sort of bubbles around him, healing him.

"Get your dirty paws off my Fayt!" Sophia growled, throwing her staff at the woman.

"I just brought him back to life." Rena turned around, glaring at Sophia. "Besides, I don't even want him in the first place."

"Sophia." Fayt grunted, as he slowly lifted up. "I'm sorry, please forgive me. You not loving me is the worse pain ever."

"You're such a pussy! Now, get up and take me out on a date!"

"Yes, dear."

AN: In SO2, Raise dead (aka Restoration) pauses the battlefield, replacing the music with some heavenly music, and a light shines on the dead person. Their soul is wearing some sort of white robe and wings, and they fall down into their bodies in the light. Personally, I prefer this style of restoring the incapitated compared to the angel kissing in the third game. I'm sure all would agree with me that Sophia looks like a cheerleader on acid when casting Meteor Swarm. There might be one more short chapter (an epilogue) after this one.


	14. All good things must end

"You're getting rid of this place?"

"I am!" Precis smiled, sitting herself on Chisato's desk. "Since Dias and Cliff aren't in this joint, there really isn't a point to keep this one. Besides, Nel is leaving for the other bar and those three made the House of Hottness. It was a lot of fun here, but all good things must come to and end."

"What about my job?" Chisato demanded.

"You can run the other bar where Nel and Clair will be working." Precis suggested. "I need a manger for that place."

"Bad news!" Nel announced as she barged in. "The new nightclub had some electrical errors and burned to the ground."

"Those bastards should have had me do all the electric work." Precis growled, slamming her fist on the desk. "What are we going to do?"

"I guess this is the end for Naughty Mew." Nel sighed, but carried a smirk on her face. "Oh well, I had a lot of fun here. I think I'll go back to Elicoor."

"I think I'm going to retire!" Precis giggled. "With the insurance and the money I'll get from this place, not to mention the millions I've gotten from opening this place, I'm a billionaire!"

"Retiring, you're only sixteen!"

"Then I'll make this place a roller disco place!"

Chisato growled as her anger snapped the pencil she had in her hand. She couldn't get mad at Precis, this was for the best. She sighed, placing he broken pencil to the side.

"If that's how you see fit, Good Luck." She nodded. "I think I'll stick to journalism. Ruining lives is what I do best and business is classier approach. I'm too rotten for it."

00000

Cliff stumbled into the hallway of the place he once worked. He swore he wouldn't go back but his little black book was there. Also, he's favourite pink thong was in the closet but he wouldn't admit. He covered his eyes with sunglasses and let the beard grow out. His clothes all frumpy and hair was tangled up.

"Cliff?" Nel asked, "I almost didn't recongise you."

Cliff was silent as he barged into her room.

"Let me explain."

Cliff grunted as if he were a caveman hobo. He went towards his old dresser and ripped open the drawers. He threw the clothes behind him as he searched.

"Looking for this?" Nel asked. Cliff turned his head around. She knew everything about the black book.

She held the pink thong dangling from some barbecue tongs. His eyes lit up but faded. "You remembered, impressive." He snarled.

"Oh, I burned your black book." She explained. "But I wouldn't dare touch these. You know why?"

"To add to your article?"

"Because we're good friends."

Cliff paused for a second. He tried to smile but it came out weird. Almost as if the grinch tried to, but scared away children. He shuffled his feet towards her and snatched the thong from her.

"What you did was low." He added. "Herpes?"

"Herpes?" Nel asked, with one eyebrow raised. "No, I wrote you sing Celine Dion in the shower."

"But the article said I had herpes!"

"I didn't write that." She answered, truthfully."I can assure you."

Cliff was speechless. He scratched his head then fidgeted his body around for a minute. "I believe you, " he sighed. "Are we still friends?"

"Of course," Nel replied as she held out her hand to him. Cliff took it and gave her a man hug.

"I wonder who wrote it" Nel thought to herself out loud.

"Doesn't matter." Cliff patted her on the back.

00000

Maria hummed a marry tune as she skipped into her office holding the Nedian Times in her hands. It swung with arms. She planted the paper on her desk and laughed like dark lady who just concord her world. "House of Last Season" was the headline. "Exotic dance club bids adieu. Owner sells place to buy mountains of sugar." Maria smiled as she turned around to the other newspaper article framed behind her desk, "Pimp Master STI."

"I'm here for the bartender job." Claude spoke as he knocked on the door. Maria jointed back to reality.

"Have a seat." She offered the chair in front. Claude sat down. "Why do you want this job?"

"I hate that dumb Precis!" He yelled out.

"Hush," she comforted.

Claude took a look at the paper. "How did you get the article to Chistato?"

Maria's evil smirk came back, "Oh, if you catch more flies with honey. Or in this case Booze."

00000

Opera guarded the back door holding her massive gun in her hand. She say an innocent fly go by. "Eff Off!" She screamed shooting blasts of rays at it.

"How, you really do your job well." Maria spoke, from a distance.

"Get away you eneemee!" Opera slurred her words, pointing the weapon at Maria. She didn't look frightened for she had a bottle of cider in her hands. Opera threw her gun down and raced towards the cider, snatching it out of her hands. While Opera was occupied Maria entered the bar.


	15. Epilogue

Cliff and Dias were at the bar again, hunched over with a glass mug in their hands with a dazed look in their face. They starred at the television, throwing peanuts at it (sometimes cats because they were too drunk and glued to the television to even notice) in disgusted. Their boyband ceased to exist because of their lack of dancing and singing skills. Albel was the only qualified dancer with rhythm, but when he sang he sounded like a dying cat being murdered in a slaughterhouse while having a seizure. "Why can't you dance? You are strippers!" Rena would always ask them, but they would respond by saying: "We didn't get paid for dancing, you know." After so much frustration, Rena got rid of that band.

"We could have been on there!" Cliff cried out, and took a sip of his beer. "I think I'll join the circus now!"

"You don't have a baby to take care of!" Dias hissed. "I need a job now!"

"Do you need money?" The television spoke as pictures of random, colourful bills popped out of nowhere on the screen. "Well come on down to the Central City DDR tournament! The winner will win ten thousand fol!"

"Ten thousand fol, eh?" Cliff and Dias pondered as they placed a finger to their chin.

"Wow, look at these two!" A crowd hovered around them with their jaws wide open in awe. "They really suck!"

"Woot!" Cliff cheered out loud with his hands in the air. "I beat Dias! I got 70 Boos on beginner and he got 71! I get to move on!"

"Humpt!" Dias growled as he unsheathed his sword, cutting off Cliff's head. "Take that!"

"Jerk!" Cliff grunted, screwing his head back on. "I challenge you to a catfight!"

Maria and Opera entered the arcade and headed towards the DDR machines.

"Congrats, it's been three weeks since you've had alcohol!" Maria patted Opera on the back. "I'm going to tempt you by drinking this bottle of wine. Now, don't give in!"

Opera snatched the bottle of wine, running with it as she consumed it within three seconds. She ran towards the DDR machine and played Sakura on challenge mode. Everyone from the entire arcade went towards her and starred at her. Their eyes widened when they saw her confirming her move. "Oh, my! Not Sakura on Challenge! That's suicide!" Some of them whispered to each other. The first thousand arrows went up the screen within a millisecond. Opera, swaying around the mat, hiccupping, somehow managed to hit every single one with perfect precision. The next thousand came and Opera hit them. The Next million came: Opera stomped on them as if they were cockroaches that didn't seem to die. When the song was over, she got all perfect.

"We have a winner!"

"More booze money!"

Maria placed a hand on her forehead, shaking her head as she let out a sigh. "I give up," She told herself, leaving the arcade. "I have a strip bar to take care of."

"Damit, we lost!" Cliff cried out, shaking his fist in the air. "I guess we'll join the circus!"

000000000000000000000000

"I'm back, Your Majesty." Nel spoke, bowing down on her knees. "I've decided to stay here in Aquaria. However, I wish not to be a mercenary, but a polka dancer!"

0000000000000

"Next!"

Peppita waltzed into the audition room wearing sparkling clothes that barely covered herself. Her make-up looked like she had been run over by a bus. Her lipstick looked like a clown the way she lathered in on, and her eyes looked liked that of a dead hooker.

"I wanna be the next Paris Hilton!"

"Me too!" A high pitch squeal leaped into the room wearing the same prosit-tot outfit/make-up as Peppita, only with some blond man wrapped head to toe in chains.

"We are looking for the next boyband." Rena informed, magically pressing an anvil over their heads. "Next!"

"Show us the meaning, of being horny!" Leon and Roger sang dressed in gay outfits.

"Perfect!" Rena clapped, writing down information on her clipboard, Chisato style. "In a few years you will be the latest pop duel!"

00000000000

Ashton starred the barrel for hours with his eyes sparkling in delight and his mouth drooling off at the side. He spontaneously hugged it and rubbed his face against it. Several minutes later they frolicked together in the meadows, eventually getting married to each other. They lived in the country where they had 193713 children.

0000000

"It's a boy!"

Celine smiled as she embraced her new child, holding him in her arms as her eyes watered.

00000

"And the journalist of the year goes to... Chisato Madison for her story on the real Pimp Master C!" A man wearing a tux called out, handing her a trophy.

"Thank you everyone!" Chisato spoke, in a cheerful tone. "I never meant to hurt Cliff but I write the tabloids. Read my next story on Albel getting a sex change!"

00000

"Fayt, we are going to see 'Rent!'" Sophia screched at the top of her lungs, pulling his ear, dragging him on the ground. "Then we are going shopping for our wedding!"

"Wedding?" Fayt blurted out of shock. "We've been dating for a week."

"We are getting married tomorrow! First, get yourself a job!"

"Yes, dear."

000

"What did we learn today?" Cliff asked

"Karma's a bitch?" Chisato replied, while snapping another pencil with her anger.

"True, but I think there was another theme." Mirage suggested.

"I know I know!" Roger spoke out loud with his hand above his head. He waved it around.

"Don't be a man slut, or regular slut and have billions of kids with billions of fathers!" Leon chimed in. Roger dropped his hand down and glared at Leon. Leon stuck his tongue at him.

Ernest walked to the middle of the stage. "That's right kids," He gave his after school special speech. "Having fun is fun but there are consequences. Children are involved and it's best they don't have a new dad every six weeks."

Celine threw her high heel at the back of Ernest's head, causing him to knock out.

"Pretty much, don't be trash." Nel concluded.

**The End **

AN: I was kind of lazy when I wrote this, hence the one line for everyone. Someone told me they were playing DDR while intoxicated and did amazing, so that's how I got that idea. The story is now over :( but I had a lot of fun. Read The Bizarre Love Octagon of Doom, It's my other story and another crack fic. I might do a serious one after (or during because there will be about 28 chapters to that story) that one; either a drama with some romance, or just a drama. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, especially to boywholivesinshadows for reviewing pretty much every chapter. Add more reviews please :)


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